Perhaps more poignant and poetic, a slightly mumbled respeak of Osama bin Laden came out as "or some of the blood and".
The British municipal and European elections over the past week provided their fair share of drama, political soul-searching, and hour upon hour of totally unscripted live news. You know where this is going. Firstly, a fiercely talented colleague accidentally made the municipal elections the "unicycle elections," which sounds far more whimsical. Dragon weighed in with a political opinion when a UKIP pundit was welcomed to the studio with "Nice to see EU". Finally, we crossed live to a press conference with that delicious German fish, "angler Merkel".
Cooking shows are always a treasure trove of hilarity. They're all pre-records, so none of these went to air, but live captioners often respeak the first draft of the script, and it's fair to say that Dragon just isn't comfortable in the kitchen.
So it seems fair enough that a home-made cake is "better than abort one". Just common sense really. I was more concerned by the suggestion that we season the tomatoes with "salt and papa." "unsalted butter" came out as "onslaught of butter," which...I like the way Dragon thinks. More alarming was that you could whip batter until it "becomes froggy", I'd hate to end up with amphibious pastry by accident. Spices were equally fumbled - "two teaspoons of human seeds" seems a little exotic for a prime-time TV chef. "Nice and grungy" and "nice and crunchy" are two fundamentally different levels of cooking. Separating eggs was equally fraught - "I just need the yolk" was rendered as "I just mediocre." We know, Dragon, we know.
This one comes from an unknown colleague. I pulled up the text from a previous newshour to harvest the VTs, and they must have a verbal shortcut trained in for Putin. Makes sense, he's a little bit homophone (as well as a little bit homophobe) and can come out as Britain, written, putting, pudding, put in, etc. But something went awry, and the shortcut itself went to air instead. The shortcut was "poot poot". I giggled in Ukrainian.
Finally, a little bit of sentimental sweetness from my Dragon. A science program was exploring egg-fertilisation and larva production for a particular species. Anyway, apparently "the egg and sperm, mixed together, produces love." Not very scientific, but oddly elegant.
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